Our children often know how to scream, to be angry, and we want them to be quiet and calm and we reprimand them. Have you ever wondered if we should fight them or not? Is that correct? Raising a child?
A child screaming on the floor in a shop, shouting in front of the toboggan, or not wanting to get up from the floor on the bus, makes us parents nervous.
We have all experienced this, rest assured, all children are similar when they are small.
And those who looked at it from the side and thought it was rude children quickly changed their minds when they experienced the same scene with their children.
Outbursts of anger are common in young children, believe it or not, and are even an important part of a child’s emotional and mental health.
Young children do not know how to deal with emotions, so it usually ends in a close struggle of parents with 15 kilograms of pure child rage.
Every parent’s instinctive reaction is to silence the child and stop the outburst of rage.
But experts say we need to do just the opposite!
Of course, it is better for your child to let go of negative emotions than to keep them to himself.
Although this is not easy for parents to understand or tolerate. The child actually needs to “process” the tantrum to relieve stress. Get rid of negative emotions and then resume normal activities.
Relieving stress in children through crying
Anger attacks in young children can occur for a number of different reasons. For example, if the child can not place the cubes as you imagined.
Also, if the mother insists on eating that porridge, arranging the toys, or wearing a blue T-shirt – explains the pediatrician Dr. Giovanna Armano.
But she points out that relieving stress through crying is perfectly fine.
Human tears contain cortisol, a stress hormone, and when a baby cries, it literally flushes out all the stress accumulated in his body.
Crying is followed by comfort from loved ones, which is extremely important for the child, and after the outburst of anger, the child is usually in a much better mood.
Outbursts of anger and crying are also considered by some psychologists to be a form of learning for a child.
Because then the child learns the limits to which he can go, what is allowed and what is not.
This is especially important for your child’s development – explains Dr. Armano. The next benefit of a tantrum is a better night’s sleep for your child, and here’s why.
Namely, experts believe that the child will sleep better if the stress does not accumulate during the day, but is removed.
If the child does not express it, he may experience accumulated negative emotions during the night, so his sleep is interrupted, in the end, he may even have nightmares.
Parents need to be decisive and consistent when saying “no” to a child.
Does your child have rage when he hears “no”? That is good.
Each time you say no to your child, you set clear boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not. It is logical for a child to try to get what he wants by crying and rage.
Here we as parents must be determined and most importantly – consistent.
In other words, the same should be said in every situation.
It is not good for the parent to sometimes not react at all to the same outburst, and sometimes to punish him, depending on the mood.
Because that way the child will not learn what is good and what is not good.
Over time, with the help of the parent, the child will slowly learn to control his emotions.
Until that happens, the parent must try to calm the child with nice words and a hug, but not violently because anger can be aroused.
The child will feel confident that he can express his emotions and receive comfort.
Golden rules for children’s outbursts
What should parents not do during a child’s outbursts of anger? As we have mentioned, the child must be allowed to express his anger, but limits must be set.
Use the following golden rules for your children:
- Never yell at a child, it has no effect.
- Do not laugh at your child, because that way you are belittling his feelings and actually hurting him.
- Avoid imitating him, and certainly not ridicule him. Because that way he will just accept your ridicule scheme and use it on other children.
- You should not punish the child, you can only do more harm. The child then closes in more and more, and there is a danger of not showing feelings later in life.
- It’s a big mistake to offer him a reward for stopping shouting. With this procedure, he will learn how to manipulate others.
When children shout, when they express anger, we should let their nervousness pass. In this way, they remove stress from their body.
Parents need to be consistent in their actions when they say no. Never punish children, make fun of them or shout at your children.
Raising children is not easy, but all of us parents should strive to raise our children better.
Many actions that a child will learn and see in childhood will leave a positive or negative trace in his behavior when he grows up.
So parents do your best.
read more: What Should 10-year-olds Learn?